Yelp Reviewer on Madame Claude, Jersey City, NJ
4 Useful, 1 Funny, 0 Cool
[courtesy of Steve]
The project, called the Extreme Light Infrastructure, will lay the groundwork for building an even more powerful laser that could try to pull “virtual” particles out of the vacuum of space-time.
1) …For all things, there is a first time.
2) There is no such thing as a no-win scenario.
3) If you meet someone who’s not part of your regular circle of friends, this person might just turn out to be your long-lost son.
4) Russian people are generally useless.
5) Black people tend to make noble sacrifices.
6) You shouldn’t accept a promotion just because it comes with a fancy title; stick to what you’re good at.
7) Don’t ever let someone stick a bug in your ear.
8 ) If you’re talking on the phone and some jerk can overhear you, try to speak in code.
9) It has always been easier to destroy than to create.
10) Obsession can be a bad thing — a very very bad thing.
11) If you strand someone in a distant location, try to check back from time to time, just to see how they’re doing.
12) The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few… or the one.
13) Paradoxically, cheating can sometimes be a good thing.
14) You should avoid two-dimensional thinking.
15) If someone gives you a present, accept it politely — after all, this person could die someday.
16) How we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life.
17) If your best friend stands up, gives you kind of a funny look, and then leaves the room for no reason, then your best friend might be thinking about committing suicide. You should grab him and hold him down.
18) However, if your best friend does commit suicide, this will have the effect of making you grateful for your own life, such as it is.
19) In life, there are always possibilities.
23) Foreign chicks are pretty hot — especially when they let their hair down.
24) Ideas begin in words.
25) Every death leads to the beginning of a new life.